I have been getting a large number of increasingly frantic requests from journalists looking for 'credit crunch Valentine's buys.' The reason why I image that they are getting increasingly more desperate is that there isn't really anything under a tenner that you could buy your loved one for the most romantic day of the year, that wouldn't result in getting a big slap and a sulking partner because everyone else in the office had been sent a big fuck-off bouquet of flowers and jewelry.
I have therefore come up with a few suggestions that I think will help out all those in need.
Blokes - you are always going to have your classic - knob wrapped in a ribbon. Ribbon these days is relatively cheap, but a quick word of warning not to go for any start colours that may clash with your skin tine, or anything with sparkles. I would suggest a quick pre-purchase check, but I have asked Peter Jones and apparently they frown upon partial nudity in their shops.
Girls - say it with me 'Nothing says I love you like a blowjob.' Alternatively give your boyfriend the gift of certainty, and become 100% sure that you could not get pregnant by having a bit of cheeky bum sex.
Look out for these handy tips in no publications. My helpful suggestions have been met with stoney silence from all corners.
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